Melisse Lewine-BoskovichPeace Child Israel |
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Personal Transformation and Personal Story:
“ I used the same slogans as everyone else, "the only good Arab is a dead Arab," etc. There was something in my psychological make-up as I grew up, things that happened… my personal development gave rise to a strong need for that kind of involvement. I needed to be able to nurture something in a way that I felt I hadn't been nurtured myself. Some of that had to do with my weight and the responses it had evoked in my family. I wanted to be nurtured, and I hadn't been, and that wasn't a very happy thing. And so my involvement was very natural. I needed to feel I was giving love to something, so I gave it to the Jewish people. […] My parents, my rabbi, and my synagogue went to Selma, Alabama during the race riots, so I had that influence. I was involved in all the moratoriums, and I remember the day we ended the dress code in my high school. I was against the Vietnam War. So there was sort of a conflict in my mind. It wasn't straightforward. A process was sort of on hold. I always said that the thing that made the real transition was when I gave birth. Once I realized that instinctual, hormonal connection of a mother towards a child, I couldn't justify ever wanting to see anybody's child go through any kind of pain. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
Obstacles and Challenges and Personal Transformation:
“ I questioned how much one would have to forfeit in order to be involved in resolving the conflict. I also questioned how to go about letting go of the anger, letting go of the fears, and letting go of the mistrust. But also, I had the sense that I was going to have to admit that everything I had always believed in was wrong, which is not a simple thing for anyone to do, on any kind of issue. So it took some time. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
“ I believe that the Jews are behaving as those who suffered from child abuse: if you were hit, you hit back, and you hit before you get hit again. And it's going to take a huge, monumental effort to be able to let that go. That's going to also require the discriminated, downtrodden minority to kick in and help and prove that it can happen. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
Fear:
“ For the Palestinians it would be good to recognize that there's this little thing in the back of every Jew's head that has to do with fear. If you keep doing the things that reinforce that fear, it's not going to do you any good. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
Vision and Identity and Religion:
“ Now, I always have to say immediately that in a perfect world I don't believe there should be any states. In a perfect world there would be no borders; there wouldn't be territory. The human race has not evolved that way yet. There is still a need for groups, affiliation with groups, allegiances, and it seems, territory. And until we get rid of the need for religion, there's nothing to talk about. Until we evolve-human beings, all of us-beyond the need for religion, which is still a very inherent need for people, I don't think there's any possibility. So, I believe the world would be a better place if there were no states, but until that day comes I still feel-it's absurd to say that this is a safe place considering how miserable everything is here- that Jews have their right to a place of their own just like the Palestinians do. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
“ I have a conviction about honesty and justice. When I myself cope with the fact of how the state was established, I think there needs to be some sort of recognition of the tragedy. Not that they should commemorate the Nakba every year. We need to recognize it and be able to acknowledge it and then move forward. Nobody's anywhere near that. When I think about the fact that what I want was established on someone else's pain, then sometimes that tells me that I have to let go of what I want. In a way. There's something not kosher about this. If we really are totally honest about how the state was established, maybe there was no legitimacy for it to happen. Okay, the world voted on it and the land was bought and worse things have happened in other parts of the world, but I'm not involved in contributing to those other people's pain, and in this case [with the Palestinians] I am. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
Obstacles and Challenges and Palestinian Refugees and Self Determination:
“ Cross-border folks [people working together from opposite sides of the Green Line] who work in this field have pretty much arrived at an agreement: two states for two nations, a two-state solution. The ones who are still talking or doing peace building agree on that. They agree. They may not totally agree on the refugees and right of return, but basically most of them agree to two states. There are many people inside the country for whom that is not a solution. For Arabs and Jews inside Israel who are working on bi-lateral processes with adults or kids, I can say for sure, there hasn't been a reality check to see if we're on the same page. What do we want to see at the end of the day? The reason there hasn't been one is that they're afraid that if they had that process, everything would fall apart, and it probably would. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
“ Religion was founded on a need in human beings to answer fears. They created and imagined these forces, these spirits, these idols, because it answered the fear they had about something they couldn't understand. That's fine; that was good for then. Sometimes fear is a good thing to have… not to do something stupid like put your hand in fire; it's good to be afraid of fire. But basically fear is a negative energy. Anything whose whole core and essence was based in negativity couldn't have good results in the end. It doesn't mean that religion doesn't answer some needs for people, but basically it's no surprise to me that religion is the core of all this, of many, many tears. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
Security and Israeli Military Service:
“ I'm not so sure I totally buy into the idea that everyone has to be a conscientious objector. I don't know if I think there has to be chaos. That's a warning bell for me. I can't say that I would totally forfeit the fact that there should be an army here. There are certain expectations by our colleagues in the field that we should of course be against the army. I can't say that. Not only that, I want to get to the point where my Arab colleagues and friends are not going to expect that of me. If you expect me to say there shouldn't be an army, that means you think I should basically be willing to take that chance and erase my existence. Don't ask me to do that. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
Occupation and Settlements:
“ The thing about being in the Territories… this is my argument with people, with taxi drivers and such. I say, "Since '93 they've [Palestinians have] been saying if we just get out and give them a state then everything is going to be fine between us, and we'll all get along and there's going to be peace." I want the burden to be on them. I want us to be out. You've been giving us this line for 10 years--now show us! But that means we have to really get out, we have to get all the settlers out, and we can't be there to protect them. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
“ We can't be right in their [Palestinians'] guts and stopping them from getting to hospitals and stopping them from going here and there. I talk to a [Israeli] taxi driver, and I say, "Imagine your daughter lived two kilometers down the road and you get a phone call, she's poured scalding coffee on herself by mistake, and you're ready to dash out the door to go see her and some 18-year-old punk in a soldier's uniform tells you that you can't go. What would you do? What would you want to do?" This is what I say to an Israeli taxi driver when we're having a discussion. Well, he says, "If it were my daughter, if it were me, I would be really quite capable of homicide." So that's what our presence does, and they don't get it. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
“ [...w]e've had conferences with people in this field and people admit that there are some moments when something happens and you just want to say screw them. That's just what you want to say at that particular moment, but I have too many deep, close friends. So when you have these kinds of friendships, it makes it harder. There are moments when I want to just be so free and clear and just to be angry, to be furious with no feelings of guilt at all. It's hard when you see the other person's narrative and know that if not myself personally, then my people had something to do with their pain. It makes it more difficult for us, which is why more Jewish kids don't come to the programs. It's a lousy position to be in, to be the Jew in dialogue these days. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
“ Peace in the political context here means two states, it means fair and just minority-majority relationships, it means the other side of a long process of acknowledging an injustice that took place, and going through a process that allows everyone to be able to let go of the past without feeling they've compromised their integrity. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
“ How do you explain that it's because of all the suffering that these kids were recruited [to carry out suicide bombings], that you have to understand their allegiances and Palestinian allegiances? How do you explain this to people in Ofra or even to any Likudnik at this point? They say that's bullshit, they don't want to hear it, and there's something to be said for that. They don't want to hear about anybody who's going to justify blood spilling-random blood spilling-like in terrorist bombings. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
“ I don’t have a resounding distaste for the target population that I want to change. [...] I think the processes have to come from a small core of heroes within the population that needs to go through the change. I can tell you specifically why. Here, my experience is that the people who are doing this work, for the most part, are condescending snobs towards the exact target population they feel needs to go through a change. They’re right that they need to go through a change, but their attitude to them is so condescending. So all logic says they are not the right people to be providing the process for the change. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
“ We don’t really have the time to wait for the kids to grow up. I think it’s time for the adults to start a process, and that’s where we’re not so wise. The practitioners don’t know how… in almost all of the places where we work there are almost no adult dialogue groups going on. The parents aren’t talking like the kids are. It’s time to shake up the parents and get moving. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
Fear:
“ [The real fear is] extinction. It’s very primal. Yeah, it’s basically that they want to get rid of us. Not trusting that they don’t want to annihilate us if given the slightest chance. And there are enough people out there saying it, if not violently, then politically, “make this a bi-national state from the Jordan to the Mediterranean, why should there be a Jewish majority here at all?” This kind of statement didn’t exist 10 years ago, and it's not helping Jews that have this fear get over it and start trusting. It’s doing the opposite. That’s why I don’t go to demonstrations; I began to think that demonstrations are counterproductive. These trapped animals-that’s the way they’re feeling-see their own people betraying them, and it just makes them feel more fear that they can’t even trust their own. I was in a few demonstrations and I was called all kinds of names, and I decided it wasn't helping. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
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